Moan for me like Helen Keller
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
