i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize