He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
