Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
