took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
