Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
