foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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