Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Be still, my beating vagina.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
