Buhtt sex?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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