he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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