i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
