How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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