walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
