if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
