so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize