where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
