It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I need water and some morals
Randomize
