Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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