ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
