Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
