We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you will always have a special place in my vag
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
