Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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