the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
