AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
