I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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