the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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