That's intense
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
foreskin is a definite game changer
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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