I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
