are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
