I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
