What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize