I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
