I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
