we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No subtext here. People are naked.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
