Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
