i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
