I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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