I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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