So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
