Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again