69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
