his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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