I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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