I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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