whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
