i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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