Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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