He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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