I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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