Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
