Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You're a waste of cheezeits
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
