Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
someone threw a dead crab at me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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