When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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