Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
