her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
