This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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