Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
