doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
