Whats the glycemic index on semen?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
