I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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