I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
