You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
