i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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