I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
