i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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