i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
