Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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